oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
