sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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