Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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