I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
