I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
