I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
