I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
