Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
