The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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