She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
