come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
