I bet he comes in French.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize