Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
