Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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