she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
