News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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