Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
