i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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