On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
There are leaves in my underwear?
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