Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
