Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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