She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why do cheetos always look like penises
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is the high leading the old right now
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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