ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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