did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well I just put wine in my tea
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
