reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
