i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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