They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
