fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize