You can't motorboat a personality
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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