Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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