What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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