he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
