The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
