go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
