"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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