you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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