Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
