Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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