Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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