Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
