Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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