if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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