I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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