Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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