woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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