I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I think i got beer on your cat.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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