so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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