Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
