My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
