quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
