Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
