i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
