Im at strip club and am horny
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
