i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
