New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
