so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
