I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
