the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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