On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
