you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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