We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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