Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
