You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
