You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
